If you’ve grown up in or around church, you’ve learned the same songs over the years…

“Jesus Loves Me”…really? Me?

“This Little Light of Mine”…should it shine, like, all the time? Can I hide it ever?

“Jesus Loves the Little Children”…which ones? ALL the children of the world.

“He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”…still? Yep. 

It turns out I have the hardest time believing and living out the songs deemed most suitable for children.  I fundamentally believe Jesus forgives me, but loves me is a different story. I know my light should shine, but how often I put it under that danged bushel or let Satan blow it out. Jesus loves all the children of the world, but I struggle with some of the folks around me.

Then there’s the mother of all kids sing-a-longs…God has the whole wide world in His hands. He does. I know that. But over the last 10 years I haven’t lived like it. I’ve tried to control. I’ve manipulated situations to ensure they turn out the best for me. I’ve tried to play the role of Geppetto the puppeteer in my attempts to steer others in a favorable way. It’s quite childish.

Yet every time I try to hold the world in my hands, I’m riddled with anxiety, fear, and a palpable sense of inadequacy. Turns out I make a horrible Sovereign. My hands aren’t big enough…which is true literally as well–I have smallish hands.

The prophet Isaiah reminds me that I’ll never be up to the task: Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand or marked off the heavens with the span of his hand? Who has gathered the dust of the earth in a measure or weighed the mountains in a balance and the hills in the scales? Isaiah 40:12, HCSB.  Answer: Not I.

God has been so gracious reveal to me that I know way more than I believe and believe way more than I live. So I’m learning to believe and live the songs I’m singing with my kids. And with #4 on the way, I have a lot more late night concerts to come….