7 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR THE WOMAN WHO MARRIED A DREAMER
Isn't it ironic that what you once found endearing about your man possibly maybe likely now annoys the living mess out of you? Maybe annoys isn't the right verb but you can mad lib and insert your own as you see fit. This typical inversion is probably even truer for those who married young.
When you're young, things are cute and laughable. You have time, after all. When you're less young and approaching death, or at least 40, things become contentious and lamentable.
Marrying a dreamer fits the bill of what I've described. I wasn't born with my head in the clouds, but I've spent a fair time in the higher altitudes since then. The problem has been keeping my feet on the ground and progressing toward any actual goal or dream. My wife and I married at 23.
By 33, she knew what was up.
To her credit, she's been a processor, counselor, coach, and, to be fair, collateral damage. The latter simply means she has paid the price for me not knowing me over the years. But there are things she's done over the years that have helped me figure me out without crushing me in the process, so I thought I would pass on her wisdom should someone out there be in a similar boat that's taking on water.
7 PIECES OF ADVICE MY WIFE DIDN'T KNOW I WOULD WRITE BASED ON HER OWN BEHAVIORS IN THE LAST DECADE
Tell him the truth. How the dream(ing) makes you feel. Where it resonates, where it doesn't. What scares you. Excites you. And also scares you.
Keep telling him the truth. This is crucial.
Affirm what he is good at. Also crucial because he probably has immense self-doubt. It's not your fault, but it's likely a fact.
Repeat steps 1-3 in the soft tenor of Brian McKnight. Why? Because, dear sister, his memory is …….
Remind him of your mildest dreams, including but not limited to eating real food, going on dates, and living indoors--wherein you do not share walls or a refrigerator with other humans. Be that your in-laws or an unrelated family.
Find small ways to affirm his dream, so long as you will be able to achieve the dreams you would voice in #5.
Don't give up on him. He has it in him. Or at least some of it. If he didn't, you wouldn't have married him! That exclamation point means it must be true.
I hope it helps. Feel free to comment if you have experience living in close proximity to a dreamer:)
