Every man’s question

Photo by Chad Witbooi from Pexels

Deep down, some deeper than others, every man wonders if he’s good enough.

Good enough at what, for who or what? All of it.

Dad. Husband. Worker. Role model. Single and unashamed. Physiquer–because we all know the dad bod thing is a lie that some sweet wife made up to make her unfit husband feel less bad. God bless that woman.

This question of sufficiency is inescapable. Undoubtedly it’s there for women as well, but my expertise is in being a man. Feeling the doubts and insufficiencies and insecurities.

For some it leads to posturing; for others, it’s retreating. Many lean in and try to get better, be better, do better. But even when confident that I am hidden with Christ and acceptable to the Father, lingering still is that tug on my coattail–You’re not. You can’t. You won’t.

Learning to quiet the voice and imprison the thoughts has been one of the toughest lessons yet. It makes sense that the voices grow in proportion to the level of responsibility one has.

As we seek to show compassion and grace to one another, don’t forget yourself.

Brennan Manning writes of this tension:

They [disciples of Jesus] are fed up with themselves, sick of their own mediocrity, disgusted by their own inconsistency, bored by their own monotony. They would never judge any other of God’s children with the savage self-condemnation with which they crush themselves.

The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus, 152

Manning speaks of Jesus followers plagued by self-hatred, not just in religious matters, but across all slants of life. The word for my brothers is this: Only “to the extent that we allow the compassion of the Lord to invade our hearts” are we freed from “that self-hatred that we are now even ashamed of.”

Open the gate, dear son, that the Lord’s compassion might storm and captivate your soul. His energy is your energy. His sufficiency is your sufficiency.